the redemption of hate

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.” Matthew 7:6

Or so it is said in Matthew, but who knows what was really said and what was later invented.  In that house of mirrors there is little ground that is not potentially a trap.

Also ... who am I to say what I write or speak is a pearl, or holy?  Who am I to say another is a dog or a swine?

It is Easter Morning and I would sing ....

Yesterday I called to task others for their hate.  Was this justified?   How did I know it was hate?  What is hate?  I can only know hate through tasting my own.   Years ago my eldest daughter, who at that time was collecting broken men thinking she could save them, was beaten and raped by one of them, who later stalked her and tried to kill her (and my grandson with whom she was pregnant) with his car.  My children kept this event from me for three years, and even when I was told I wanted to cross the Continent with a baseball bat and kill him.  Is that hate?

On Friday just past we can remember Christ dying on the Cross.  For me the day was filled with the sounds of driven nails and hammers beating on the roof of my home ... a crew of a dozen replacing the roof all in one day, and pounding for hours thousands upon thousands of times.   On Saturday just past we supposedly remember Christ descending into Hell, having on Friday crossed the threshold of death.   Why did he descend into hell?  Was he going for a visit, curious?

I think He was filled with hate.  I think He was enraged and that the hidden secret of the Passion of Christ is that he died fully human, having surrendered His godhood completely.   I think He hated those who murdered Him and tore Him from the beauty of the suffering of life.   I think He hated being ripped from the friends and family He had known and the love with which He had been surrounded.  I think He didn’t really want to die.   I think He knew He ought to accept the cup and He ought to forgive, and believing that in the Human Way, he did accept the cup of His fate and did forgive.  But at the very very last He doubted and He wondered and He asked: “Why have You, my own Father, forsaken me?”

It was then this weight, this awful fully human weight of despair and hate and doubt that then caused Him to Fall - to descend into Hell, for where else can we go when we die violently and full of hate for those who steal life and family from us?

But still, what is hate?

I think hate is rage at our impotence.   Across a barrier of time and space I could not save my daughter from her own karma and fate and destiny ... I was simply impotent - powerless.  This feed then in my soul a fire of rage so unbounded that what else could I do but hate that which I blamed.  Whatever was near at hand and capable of being blamed I poured upon it my rage - my hate.

So it was Saturday, and there was war on the Critics list, and I was impotent to save us from its consequences, so I hated, and hating then accused others of this same hate - this same blind rage at my own impotence.  I knew hate and I knew their hate simply because I too hated.

So weighted Christ fell and fell and fell and fell and fell ...

Yet, He was not alone ... She was with Him ...

And then She caught Him, as Michaelangelo so beautifully captured in the Pieta ...

But how did She get there in the first place?   How is the Mother there in the Center and Root of the world, at its deepest depths of Hell?

I think because of guilt.

Co-creatrix some call Her.   The Virgin ... the Holy Virgin.  So pure.   How could She feel guilt?

Because with the Father She created this world and us, and having done that She and He then became responsible for all that we have done and yet will do.  The law of unintended consequences writ large on a cosmic scale.

Having set the Creation in motion She and He placed themselves inside it in the hardest places.  He became the Spirit of All, splitting Himself into us and them and quarks and moons and suns and stars and pieces of dirt.   All spirit is Holy because He - the Father - placed Himself there and died there, giving away to the seeds that were then set free to become whatever they willed to become.

So they - He and She - bound themselves to the Creation.  He the inside of everything, yet passive ... unformed, uncreated, set free.  Not bound paradoxically precisely by being bound.  The Father sets himself inside the unbound and leaves the unbound free to chart its own course, while She ...

Makes a nest at the root of the world, at the depths of Hell itself, where She opens Her heart to all the suffering and all the pain and identifies with it through all of Eternity.  The Two co-creators bind themselves to the Creation, and through this intercourse set free the Son, the left behind deepest mystery of Divinity ... who cannot but follow Them, seeking out to return to Them ...

In the Beginning was the Word and the Word was towards God ...

So the Son seeking to return to the Father and the Mother follows the Human Way, and becomes flawed and capable of hate, of rage against His own impotence given that His Mother and Father had set it all free ... such that nothing the Son could do would change a thing ...

So enraged at His impotence He dies on Friday and Falls all day Saturday until She catches Him ... and She is only there to catch Him because She is responsible for His suffering too ... She and the Father who lived as a spirit seed in all those who tortured and crucified their Son ... the Father forsakes Him not just by not saving Him, but by engendering the very ones, following the Human Way, whose own rage at their impotence in the face of dominance by the Romans and their own Priests turns to hate and finds the Son the apt target of that hate....

And on the Critics list, as is true everywhere else in the world and throughout time, impotence leads to rage and rage leads to hate and the war in heaven becomes the war on the earth, and what the Hopi Prophecy calls the Day of Purification, and John the Baptist calls Christ’s Baptism of Humanity by Fire and Holy Breath turns into the Mayan understanding of the End of a Great Cycle, which the vanity of Christians falsely thinks is the true Day of Judgment, and meanwhile the secular humanists deny the Father and the Son and so become the anti-Christ spirit themselves ...

And the whole world burns in the fires of our own making ....

From which the Light of Easter Morning is born - the phoenix from the ashes ... hate is redeemed, rage quenched, impotence overcome as we ourselves turn ourselves out of our own freedom into the Light ... the mystery of resurrection celebrated yearly following the first full moon of Spring

and on the critics list the fire smolders, and people forget their own true nature, lost in their impotence to save those they love from the ravages of life in places called Waldorf and from spirits called anthroposophists ... we have to blame someone, do we not, and since some do not believe in God or Father or Mother, they blame what is near at hand, their brothers and sisters all traveling the Human Way.

So divided against each other we seek to burn down the house of life we all share ... our hate and rage and impotence a fire that sheds light and warmth across Eternity .... you ... you ... you are not me, and I ... I ... I am not you ... 

... really?

then why is hate everywhere recognized as the other side of the coin of love?