Hermit's Weblog
everything your mother never taught you about how the world really works.

Fri, 02 Sep 2005

Bush Blames Loss of New Orleans on 9/11 and Saddam Hussein (special from the Washington Times, and written by Rev. Moon).

In a bold stroke of political genius, our President has found out who to blame for Katrina. Yesterday morning he revealed the contents of a secret memo found hidden in Saddam Hussein's shoe during a routine search of the former Dictator of Iraq. The President noted, that while Hussein was able to wrestle the note from the guard and eat it, the guard did have time to read it first.

In the note, which this reporter knows for a fact to be true, since our President would never lie to us, it was stated that the Iraqis had long had a secret weather control program in place that was originally funded by the President's father in 1989 as part of a CIA black operation in which US military weather control programs were exported to client States in order to hide them from the scrutiny of Congress.

"He stole it from us!", Bush declared from the podium in the Rose Garden, adding: "It was not my fault, everyone else is obviously to blame!".

This reporter can verify, that contrary to recorded live TV, the President did not, after uttering the above, turn and kick Carl Rove in the crotch, while yelling: "You idiot, you said they'd never catch us." What really happened, was that Carl had moved too close behind the President (not to whisper in his ear as some have said), so that when the President turned to leave the podium, he was startled and stumbled into Rove with his knee, exclaiming at that time: "You poor man, I never thought we'd get to be this close".

Nor are the reports true that the President was drunk at the time, and the cursing and swearing heard soon after in the West Wing was from a former staffer who had just been fired for not warning the President about the cover up of the weather control program done by the Clinton Administration.

Clearly the President has no responsibility whatsoever for Katrina and the failure of the government to respond quickly to the sad happenings (well deserved in this reporter's opinion) in New Orleans. "We do have enemies, and we are at war, and if something bad happens it is never the fault of our government or the President", the Press Secretary announced at the end of the day.

[14:35] | [] | # | G

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