5/15-16-17/2013

the Mystery of Lust

In the dark of deep night

I want to have her

to own her body

to possess it

I want to become engorged

and penetrate every orifice,

and I want, I used to suspect, to sin

I need to dominate

to control

to satisfy any sexual hunger

I don’t always want to romance

or to be gentle

or tender

or slow

or careful

what is most worst

is this Hunger

this Lust

this near unfathomable need

includes wanting her to give in to me

completely of her own free will

I need her surrender

her submission

her yin to my yang

I need her to want to be dominated

and hungered for

in all the raw ways possible

everything I can ask

she must choose to give

yet, this is not about debasement

how can Lust debase what is freely given?

nor is it about power

I want no power over her at all

for I too want to surrender

to give into the Lust

to embrace the untempered Hunger

yet not be there, in that dark seeming place

of raw Lust

- alone

I want, need, her company

in the dark deeps of the night

when the Hunger is aroused

Not only that I want her to urge

me on

take me she must say

have me she must say

possess me

own me

she is to open to me

to spread her arms and her legs

and lay back

and tell me to penetrate her

devour her

my hungry mouth

everywhere

or she turns herself over

and demands

I go into her

from behind

the Lust

must burn through both of us

taking away all inhibitions

all resistance

for in this burning the Lust is pure some way ...

how can that be?

a primal power of the creation is appearing

a need for uniting that overcomes all reluctance

where the resisting mind fades away

and the body itself surrenders

to all sensation both inner and outer

to all urgent demand

to plant the seed

within her

to plow her

and plunder her

and shower her

nor is this a gesture of animalness

this is the urge for pure generation

for combining egg and seed

electric and magnetic and atomic

is this desire, this Lust, this Hunger

this is not sin in fact

but something holy

something divine

we are making something together ...

we are making a new body

a new avatar

for a new person

to inhabit

for the fire of the Lust comes

also from outside us

from the spirit of the child who needs and wants

a physical body in which to be born

there are three of us here now 

we two, male and female

past and present

making a beginning place

a first iteration of a house

meant to become a temple

for the mystery of the future-other

the one who can’t come from their star

and descend into

incarnation

until we surrender to its Lust

for earthly life

that flows over and around us

penetrating us

this Other-Hunger wants to

have us

to own us

to possess us

and needs us to submit to

he/she/it

the gate into physical life

is through Lust,

through the overriding

all consuming

Hunger of the spirit to

be in flesh

Even the Gods knew this, for the poet sang:

And the Word became Flesh and dwelt among us

Is not each child to be born

its own spirit/word?

no wonder St. Paul

feared the power of the Hunger

the freedom of the physical earthly body

to surrender to the non-earthly spirit

to submit to the needs of the body

seemed to him to give up his power and freedom,

not realizing that nothing that exists

is outside of Gods’ Love, in all their holy glory

so then did the Church too

born in Paul’s confusion

Lust was a power

they sought to control but could not

so they stole it for a time,

from nuns  and monks

and made little fake temples they

called monasteries and nunneries,

but which were not true temples

for their purpose was to possess

the Lust,

to transmute and transform it and

to own its generative and creative powers thus changed

for the Church itself

without the captured primal passions of the Religious,

the Church had no moral heart

the primal Hunger of life to begat life

was given no room for its natural expression,

and in the end this coerced celibacy

could not defeat the holy and sacred

nature of Lust for Life,

yet by the Church’s capture was so deformed and transmuted

it became in some a true source of evil

masked as love

the Church also sought to confine

procreation to the marriage bed

but Lust was not to be bound

or controlled there either

when the spirit needed to incarnate in matter

it came, regardless of authorities

lost in fear or the need to dominate

which is why men and women came sometimes to fear it

to fear to surrender to it,

and began to name something holy

and so powerful a sin

but the old goddess religions knew this power,

knew the significance of generation

celebrated it,

and embraced it

we moderns think to call the priestesses

and priests of the holy arts of Lust

temple prostitutes

and from our warped time and point of view

made of Lust and raw desire

something wrong

when the patriarchs took social control

thousands of years ago, and manufactured

the monotheistic religions dominated by

male gods

then did maleness through fear of the generative spirit,

fear of Lust,

and its threefold partnership:

male, female and incarnating child

introduced then all the horrible distortions

of holy human sexuality 

that we call porn

or abortions

or contraception

or genital mutilation

Oh, the Churches tried,

the religions tried

the male dominated priesthoods tried

but the primal powers of creation

were not theirs to possess

Lust belongs to itself,

and we can only surrender to it

and submit in wonder

and in awe

when in freedom the male and the female

through arts of mutual provocation and intoxication

let in the Hunger

of the incarnating spirit

seeking a body in which to enter into earthly existence

so it can rush earthward headlong from its star

toward the stage of life

this world, and the needed company of

we billions

so as to dance and sing

and play

while He reminds us gently of this truth of innocence ...

lest ye become again as little children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven

for Lust is adult play of the highest sort

a surrender to the world of sensation

which is also part of the Creation

We were not made to suffer

to resist the impulses for pleasure and joy

why else do we sing and dance in the temples

and shout and praise

the body is a temple,

lent to us by acts of Lust,

we are all from a father and a mother

we are all from our own star

seemingly hellbent to enter into the earth existence

to enter into the deeps of the body

but being not yet perfect

we descend partial and often lame

of soul

the Hunger of the spirit

for incarnation in the avatar

temple of the physical body

includes the need to learn

to master self

to become something more

so we want to temper Lust and

hope that at its root it is Love,

which as a truth is surely divinely real

for the divine does not create in error ...

ever

even we humans do not error in the sense of sin,

we only make the mistakes of the unlearned,

the not yet wise ...

so the Lust and the Hunger

the joining of male and female

and child to be

in the generative act of procreation

is such a primal power that it cannot

and will not be confined by human

religious hectoring, which is too much Beam

and almost no Mote at all

the Divine Mystery knows not rules

so why would it decree we adhere

to laws and commandments

an act the patriarchs of the monotheistic

religions decreed a sin in their twisted lust

for power and domination

over women

jealous of women’s power

to carry the child’s growing temple in their womb

and to be naturally a principle source of love

for this incarnating spirit-child during its whole life

these old men lorded their self-loved pain

over women, repressed them, for millennia

but the spirit cannot be repressed

cannot be stilled, 

so today, in our Age

Lust bursts forth its chains and

women will not accept control of their

bodies, their temples

for their instinct is sure that something holy

is at risk,

and the twisted lusts of men for domination

must be fought ...

or all of us, male and female and child

will be ruined,

and hate of the temple of the body

will be thus fostered,

and hate of the independence of the spirit

will be thus fostered ...

and the modern World of we-billions

drowns in the raging seas of Karma

such that

a civilization must Fall to make room

for the next one

the Goddess religions honored the Father God,

but the godless monotheistic religions dishonored

the Mother God,

thus founding Western Civilization on a great Lie,

one so great that the Lord of the Dance Himself

had to come and die on a Cross

to lead us all toward Redemption

the Redemption of Eros,

the true name

of Lust and the Hunger for unity

of the primal power of generation 

to overcome separation

and help us seek a World made whole

and Holy once more 

yet, why then abortion and porn

and genital dis-figuration and rape

and all the other crimes against women?

Because the ever and again incarnating spirit

voyaging  the ages and times from past to present

and into future - this reincarnating spirit, going from

one physical body avatar to another ...

learns only through strife and struggle

so that in our Age, we are faced

in the most direst of ways with

deep questions of moral confusion ...

the Lust and the Hunger, once managed

through social do’s and don’ts are now

ours alone to discipline ... and we will

only learn their mastery by trial and error

and through the alchemy of ups and downs

and choices ...

we are to be personally responsible for

what Eros, what Lust and the Hunger -

what the generative power of the creation -

does in our lives ...

these are our choices, and no religion

or any science can deny our freedom to determine

and rule them by ourselves ...

the gravitas of life is ours now to know ...

a great gift, in a mystery dance often

only captured in verse and song:

an “Amazing Grace” for all.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.